Saturday, 7 November 2015

Worth living for.

I started this blog just 3 years ago with so many ideas to share and so many hopes for my life!  I thought it might help me deal with my divorce and the change of my life from settled to chaotic.  However, I realised that some things were just too painful or difficult to share with a largely unknown audience, after all, we rarely know who might stumble across our page of morning musings! And yet, here I am, still putting words out into the big old world for people to read and maybe think about.

My first ever blog was around 9 years ago now! I was very different then, a little shallow perhaps, but life is about growth, and I would say I've done a lot of growing!!!

I've met people through blogging who have become dear friends in the real world and not just on my pc screen, so for that reason, reaching out into the void has been worth it. I've read blogs that have kept me sane and given me hope through dark days and even darker nights, when I've been so alone that I would have given anything for a friendly voice. Sometimes those blogs led me astray and I became obsessed with this craft or that homemaking idea and made more bars of soap than was ever necessary! But it was fun and it took me away from worry.

When I first woke up this morning, I was in a lot of pain with the fibro.  I wanted to talk about the things I've lost, energy, vitality, the ability to act on an idea without planning, and of course friends, most of them now! I've lost great chunks of what makes me, Me! And yet, here I am, carrying on and dealing with the life I have, because there is no other way!  I have so much to be grateful for, a roof over my head, my lovely children, now young adults and of course the love of my many animals.  Then there is the patient man who still walks beside me. I've learnt not to put all of my hopes into one person, but a little hope is necessary to keep going.

So while I originally set out to talk about a Holistic life, I've actually realised that this blog is becoming more personal than that. After all, it's still a journey through my days. My life is uniquely mine and may share similarities with others, but the choices I make and paths I choose are what makes it so different. Like the decision to share my thoughts and feelings here this morning.
It's not easy to be so honest, to say that my life isn't pretty or easy or as rosy as the photos I post.

Here it is in all it's honest ugliness, but it's still my life and that's worth living for.


  1. We never know what path our life will take, but all I can say is that there are no U-turns in yours. You are spreading and learning and taking on all the interests which make you such a special person. I know how difficult it is to share the more personal ups and downs of our lives - I shy away from that too, especially on a blog which can be seen by anyone. If it were a private one I would be more open, but hey-ho.

    I am sorry that your Fibro is making your life so difficult, and only hope you can find a means of lessening its impact, either through Pilates or diet or whatever.

    BTW, I have started on a pottery course (as of last night) and LOVE IT!!!

  2. Woohoo, I hope you enjoy the pottery course :D

  3. Fibro is always there--and when something kicks it up doing even simple daily chores can be a struggle. I find that it is mostly a silent personal struggle. I don't look any different, I don't need to stay in bed--its just that so much vital energy is consumed merely to plod through the days, and creativity stalls.
    I suspect that even without being slowed by a chronic 'illness' we would never have time for all the interesting things there are to explore.
    We share what is safe to share and treasure the long distance friendships that grow from our online journals.

  4. Wow MM, I had no idea as is so often the case! It's good to connect with other people who understand the effort it takes just to try to be 'normal'! x